Have you ever been in a pool, swimming along (pretending you're a polar bear) when all of a sudden you see it? That's right. There's a freaking band-aid.
Yup, it just happens to be around, chillin', having an awesome time being itself.....right next to your face.
Do you understand how universally disgusting it is to combine pools and band-aids? I have never seen a person react calmly to such a sight. I have however, seen grown men react in a stereotypically feminine fashion of "Ohmigash! There's band-aid. Ew. Eww. EW!" while splashing water on it to get it away from them.
I think it's the unknown that scares us.
We'll ask ourselves the important questions like:
Where has that band-aid BEEN?
Why is it here? Am I going to get sick?
How long has it been chilling by my face?
Who's the son-of-a-turtle that put it there?
Where can I get disinfected?
Does it come with a full-body apricot scrub?
ALL the while making strange noises from our throats and letting everyone around us know how awful it is to be you right now.
The thing that got me was..........it could be Megan Fox's band-aid and it would still be gross. Let's face it. Band-aids and large bodies of water are the bee's elbows. NOT COOL.
Keep it to yourself, you nasty.
Until next time. Cheemo!
